10 Cooking Fails – Expectation vs. Reality
15th August 2013
Cooking never goes the way it’s planned.
Expectation: Sexy, wonderful home-cooked dishes.
Reality: Leaving stuff in the microwave with the tinfoil on.
There’s a reason we avoid all this cooking nonsense. Don’t get tempted. After watching cooking television shows and food advertisements you think – how hard can it be? Don’t be fooled, it really is that hard. Just look at the efforts of these poor people:
1. Expectation: Creamy macaroni cheese.
Maybe a couple different types of cheese, a little bit of garnish – perfect.
Reality: Penne with the saddest cheese slices ever.
At least they took the wrapping off. That’s pretty good, right?
2. Expectation: Succulent roast chicken.
A juicy, succulent and perfectly seasoned roast is one of the finest things mankind has invented. Everyone knows that.
Reality: Succulent chicken, burned to a crisp.
Turns out the difference between farenheit and celsius is a little bigger than anticipated.
3. Expectation: Adorable Oreo cupcake bears.
Hey, if some random person off the internet can make them – why can’t you?
Reality: IT’S A MONSTER.
4. Expectation: Hearty pepperoni pizza.
Thin, delectable slices of pepperoni and a hearty Italian pizza base. That’s how it’s done.
Reality: Cremated oven pizza
Well, at least you’ve discovered the fastest way to burn 800 calories.
5. Expectation: Squidgy smores.
Marshmellow, biscuits and chocolate squashed together into one big confectionery sandwich. This is some serious comfort food.
Reality: The saddest marshmallows on the planet.
You could always scrape some off when it’s cooled down. Those marshmallows are still good. … right?
6. Expectation: Fluffy blueberry pancakes.
Thick, fluffy and topped with some delicious blueberries and an exquisite amount of golden syrup.
Reality: Pancake… stuff.
At least it’s the colour of pancakes.
7. Expectation: A chocolate chip cake, topped with ice cream.
Squidgy spongecake, packed with chocolate chips and topped with vanilla ice cream.
Reality: The saddest dessert on the world.
What did you do? What did you do?
8. Expectation: Egg fried inside pepper.
Savoury, healthy – what’s not to like?
Reality: Egg stuff
Breaking that yolk - every damn time.
9. Expectation: Hand-rolled sushi.
It’s rice and seaweed, how hard can it be?
Reality: A blob of seaweed, rice and canned tuna.
It’s… okay. It’s reeeeeally hard. Like, moon-landing difficult.
10. Expectation: Tender skewers of marinated chicken.
Simple, healthy and delicious. It’s just a meat on a stick, after all.
What you actually make: Deep fried chicken blobs.
Maybe it’s a little more complicated than a meat on a stick. Or so it appears.
Any one of these slightly depressing meals could be yours if you’re not careful. Don’t take any chances. Don’t Cook, JUST EAT.